Where have I been? That’s the question you’ll be asking when you see an email pop up in your inbox telling you that I am posting again. Well I am not dead, you can all huff a sigh of relief knowing that the stress of post graduate life has not killed me! Now when I say this you’re not going to really understand it, this is largely due to the fact that it doesn’t make sense, the time restraints upon the information I am about to give you are fairly limited. But I assure you, it happened.
In the time since I last spoke to you I have fallen in love, fallen out of love, fallen in love with someone else, fallen out of love with that someone else, had to make a choice between the someone else and the someone and found that maybe it is best to stay single until you get your shit together.
Now, the ability to discuss all that has happened in a single post is something I would love to have but, don’t. So instead my dear friend I am going to bring you up to date with everything post by post and, if I am still breathing when we get to the present, well then you can help me figure this all out.
So it starts, as with most incredibly complex love cycles, on a date. I’d arrived 15 minutes late, on purpose. This is a new thing I’m doing now not because I want to keep a guy waiting and wondering if I’m going to turn up but, because I don’t want to sit waiting wondering if they are going to turn up. We’d chosen a casual place to meet this is always good, pretentious places often result in pretentious dates, so casual places suit the casual date. He was there already and true to his gentlemanly form had remembered what drink I liked and order it for me.
Jack Cradle, as I had learned was his name, was the stuff of movies, do you know what I mean when I say that? He’s the kind of guy you could easily find in a romance novel and he certainly could have played the lead male role in The Notebook. But today he was just my date and as I said it was casual so expectations where not exceptionally high.
“You’re late” he whispered into my neck as he hugged me.
“I thought this was a casual date? Time is irrelevant on a casual date” I said reminding him of our agreement not to get into date mode.
“Yea, I didn’t think that was serious. But if it is I may just casually find someone else half way through the causal date” he said, winking with a smile.
That statement set the tone for the entire evening, it was all jokes, laugh and, ease. How could anyone not enjoy the company of someone you don’t have to put up a front with? It lasted four hours until we were both exhausted from laughing and decided to make the walk home. I didn’t ask him to walk with me but I was glad he did.
“So what happens at the end of a casual date?” I asked as we were nearing my place and I realised I didn’t want to say goodbye.
“Well, a number of things can happen. We can casually say goodbye? We can casually kiss? Or you can invite me in for a casual cup of coffee and…”
So I had a choice, leave this as one of the most amazing dates I’d ever had and say goodbye. Kiss him and then say goodbye or, not say goodbye at all and possibly invite the world of trouble that comes with inviting someone in. Well, I’m sure you can guess what I did.